A Family Affair
by HopelessRomantic984
Summary: Tommy's quite happy with his life, and his complicated friendship with Jude. So, when Tommy's younger brother Jacob comes to town and sets his eyes on Jude, how will Tommy react? Read to find out!
1. Teaser

A/N: Hi! This is just a little teaser to let you know what my next story will be about. The next post will include any pertinent information, etc. Thanks for reading:)

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A Family Affair 

Summary/Teaser: Tommy Quincy loves his family - he really does. But since leaving New Brunswick ten years ago, he is more than comfortable with the distant relationship that has developed, consisting of only one monthly phone call. Withstanding the demons from his past, he's pleased with the life he's made for himself in Toronto, far away from the prying eyes of his parents and four siblings. He's got an amazing, fulfilling job, which just so happens to include working with his twenty year old protégé, Jude Harrison (with whom he shares a complicated friendship/flirtation/they've never labelled what it is). So when his younger, less tortured, brother Jacob arrives in Toronto and sets his eyes on Jude, Tommy's perfect life begins to become significantly less comfortable for him.

What happens when Tommy is forced to compete with his brother for the attention of Lady Harrison?


	2. Chapter One: Unexpected Guests

**A/N:** Thank you, thank you! I really appreciate all of your feedback about this new story. I'm having fun with it and I really hope you enjoy it. I do have the first (introductory) chapter for you, but I wanted to give you a few details you might want to know first. Jude is 20, Tommy is 27. Tommy and Jude's relationship is different from in the show (and I think you'll be able to pick most of this up from the story). The only kissed they've shared was the one on her 16th birthday. The Hunter revenge plot never happened. Tommy still has a past he's not proud of, but you'll find more out about that later. Anyway, I think that's all the details you need to know for now. Anything else, you'll find out during the course of the story. Thank you again for all your support. Please and enjoy and let me know what you think. Feedback truly does fuel the fire of inspiration!

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**Chapter One: Unexpected Guests**

Tommy turned over restlessly, pulling the down-filled pillow over his head to drown out the incessant ringing. He wondered angrily who would be foolish enough to ring his doorbell this early in the morning. When the bell had first woken him, he'd scanned the room for the clock, noticing that it was the ungodly hour of 7:30. He knew it couldn't be any of his friends at the door because they knew one of his unwritten cardinal rules was to never ever wake him before 11:00 am on a Saturday morning; unless, of course, the sky was falling or his house was burning down around him. And since he highly doubted that either of these scenarios were actually occurring, he decided to ignore the disruptive bell.

Regardless of his decision to stay in bed, however, the unwelcome person waiting at the door was relentless. _What are they doing, leaning on the doorbell?_ He reluctantly threw the pillow off of his face and swung his feet out of bed. He took a minute to become oriented to sitting up before he attempted to stand up. Generally he didn't have a big problem with mornings. But he had a habit of working really late on Friday nights with Jude, and this Friday had been no exception. They'd been working on a song until 3:30 am, when he had finally forced her to stop so they could both go home and get some sleep. Sometimes, when inspiration hit Jude, she tended to forget about the practical things like food and, more importantly, sleep.

Tommy trudged slowly to the door, clad in only his boxers and an old t-shirt. Whoever was there would just have to deal with his mussed hair and unkempt appearance. He swung the door open, shocked to find the one person he _didn't_ expect to see.

It was Jude. And she was smirking widely as she took in his appearance.

"Are you sick?" he asked bluntly, shielding his eyes from the early morning sun.

"No," It didn't slip his tired attention that she couldn't stop focusing on his legs. It suddenly made him regret not putting pants on before he answered the door.

"Dying?" he asked grumpily, wiping some sleep out of his eyes and refocusing on her.

"Eventually," she quipped, shockingly awake for this time of the morning. He knew better than anyone that she was the farthest thing from a morning person that existed, yet here she was, at his door, at this ungodly hour of the morning.

He ran a hand through his mussed hair unwilling to deal with this unexpected visitor. "Good. See you later," Tommy said shortly, beginning to shut the door so he could go back to the warm, inviting comfort of his large bed. But he wasn't quick enough as Jude stuck her foot in the door to keep it from closing.

Tommy didn't stop her when she pushed her way past him, but instead he continued to return to his bedroom. He completely ignored her presence, climbing the stairs and sliding back under the covers. He knew she had followed him and he could almost picture her standing uncomfortably at the doorway. She'd been to his house a few times but never into his bedroom and he could only imagine her discomfort at the situation. The thought made him smirk and he buried his head deeper underneath the covers.

When he felt the mattress sink beside him, his eyes shot open. He turned his head to confirm his suspicions; Jude was, indeed, lying next to him...in his bed. And she was smiling innocently, just to annoy him even more. Leave it to Jude to shock the hell out of him. Lying down beside him, even to exasperate him, was the last thing he had expected her to do.

Her position in his bed started a stream of inappropriate thoughts in his mind. Thoughts he had had to fight to keep at bay for most of the five years they had worked together. He closed his eyes again, trying to rid his brain of the unwelcome images. He and Jude were _friends_, and they worked together. Sure, they flirted while they worked

but that was just part of what they did. The naughty thoughts he was having right now, ones that included Jude straddling him and wearing only that innocent smile of hers, were not helping. And they were making him really glad he had layers of blankets covering his aroused body.

He kept his eyes closed, determined not to look at her again. "What are you doing here?" He could hear the tightening of his voice as he fought desperately not to acknowledge the arousal he was feeling.

"I'm inspired. We need to go to studio. I was up all night working on songs and I just couldn't wait any longer to get you up." Oh, he was _up_ all right, just not in the way she expected him to be.

"Jude, didn't I tell you to get some sleep?"

"Yes and I tried but I was too wired." She still hadn't moved from the position next to him, and he could feel the warmth radiating from the closeness of her body.

"That could have something to do with the four cups of coffee you had last night."

He yawned, but finally gave up on getting her to leave so that he could get back to sleep. He turned his head, which he instantly regretted. She was lying on her back, her head turned, ever so slightly, towards him. The close proximity of her face to his just made him notice her features even more attentively. Her blue eyes, with their limitless depths, and the plumpness of her rosy lips. She looked so damn...irresistible. And she was still smiling at him.

He turned his head back, looking straight at the ceiling above him. "Fine," he sighed, capitulating to her wishes. "Go raid the kitchen and I'll be down in 15 minutes."

"Thanks, Quincy. You're the best." She climbed to her knees, leaning over him and kissing his cheek softly. And for a split second, he saw the fantasy of her straddling him flash before his eyes. He struggled not to groan out loud. Or better yet, to grab her and see about making that fantasy a reality.

She smiled at him innocently again before rushing off towards the kitchen. After watching her leave, Tommy sighed in frustration and headed towards the bathroom to take a very cold shower.

Twenty minutes later, Tommy entered the kitchen to find Jude absently ingesting a bowl of some Froot Loops as she flipped through her journal. He grabbed a cup of coffee that she had thankfully made and joined her at the kitchen table.

"Okay, so what was so important that you had to wake me up so early?"

She looked up from her notebook, her eyes beaming. "I can't explain it, I just feel so inspired. And I can't waste it. I need to get into the studio before I lose this feeling." Her eyes were literally shining with excitement and he could feel his bitterness at being woken up early begin to melt away.

"Well, then what are we waiting for?" he asked, smiling. Her enthusiasm was contagious, and there was something about her sense of hope and optimism that made it impossible for him to disappoint her.

* * *

Three hours later, they were sitting behind the soundboard, Jude's feet resting comfortably in Tommy's lap. She was relaxing in the chair beside his, her eyes closed and her head resting contentedly against the back of the chair. They were listening to the rough cut of what Tommy could already tell was going to be an amazing song. It was hopeful and sweet and her voice was so pure, so full of emotion that it was giving him goosebumps. And it just so happened to remind him a lot about the current state of his and Jude's relationship. 

_Waking up I see that everything is ok  
The first time in my life and now it's so great  
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed  
I think about the little things that make life great  
I wouldn't change a thing about it  
This is the best feeling_

"Girl, this is phenomenal," he commented, drumming lightly on her shoes as he listened.

Most people might say he was being cocky to assume that the song was about him. But he wasn't stupid and he recognized that the comfortableness of the relationship that Jude was expressing in the song exactly mirrored their own relationship. Actually their bond was beyond comfortable. After Jude's disastrous sixteenth birthday when he had kissed her, Tommy had made the decision to make sure that they never crossed that line again. And he'd actually kept that promise. Except for the hugs and kisses on the cheek that were a normal part of their friendship, his relationship with Jude was completely platonic. Well, except for the regular fantasies he had about her; but since he couldn't control those, he didn't count them as inappropriate. Over the last four years, they had become good friends and settled into a comfortable pattern with each other. He certainly wasn't going to toy with that now, though at times, like this morning, he was really tempted.

_I found a place so safe, not a single tear  
The first time in my life and now it's so clear  
Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here  
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere_

He knew, with his track record and his past, that he would likely just hurt her, and he had no intention of allowing that to happen. That's why he had vowed after her sixteenth never to let his relationship with her become romantic. She meant too much to him for him to risk wrecking their special bond.

_This innocence is brilliant  
I hope that it will stay  
This moment is perfect  
Please don't go away  
I need you now  
And I'll hold on to it  
Don't you let it pass you by_

He watched her closely as the song came to a close and her eyes opened. Her eyes were shining with pride at how the song was turning out. "I think Darius is going to love it."

"Love it?" Tommy laughed. "I think that might be an understatement."

Jude yawned as she grabbed her journal and began flipping through the pages again. "Why don't we work on this one next?" she asked, moving her hand up to cover her mouth as she yawned for the second time in less than a minute.

Tommy chuckled quietly. "Jude." He waited for her to look up at him. "Get some sleep. I'll call in Speiderman and his boys to record the backtrack and I'll keep working on this song."

Her eyes were visibly heavy and Tommy couldn't help but notice how cute she looked when she yawned for the third time. "Now that you mention it, I am a little tired." She stood up, lifting her arms to stretch her tired muscles.

"Go." He reached forward to push her towards the door and accidentally grazed her butt with his hand. He could feel the warmth running through his body at the unintentional bump. She turned back towards him, the surprised look in her eyes reflecting the fact that his touch had not gone unnoticed. He didn't miss the pleased gleam that shone in her eyes too. He coughed loudly and began to speak, trying desperately to cover his discomfort. "Uhm... You can even use the couch in my office if you want," he offered, attempting to bring her attention back to her intention to take a nap.

"Right... uhm... thanks..." she said, smirking at him before trailing off towards his office. And for the second time that day, this time from a simple graze of his hand along her body, x-rated images of Jude flooded his mind and wouldn't be washed away.

* * *

He was halfway through finishing Speid's lead guitar track when his phone began ringing. He left it, not wanting to interrupt the really good take Speid had going. When Speid was finished, Tommy checked his phone, which had continued to ring almost non-stop. He glanced at the call display, groaned audibly and placed the phone back in his pocket. He wasn't in the mood for _him_ today. 

His phone kept ringing as he moved on to mixing the song, and he got so tired of it that he turned the ringer off. He smiled smugly at his solution to his problem, settling the headphones back on his ears. He lost himself in the poignancy and richness of Jude's flawless tone. Mixing her music was never really hard work. She had such incredible tone and depth of emotion that he usually spent extra time on her songs just so that he could keep listening to her. Plus, he had to make it look like he was actually doing his job.

After repeatedly listening to the song, and mixing it to his perfectionistic satisfaction, his stomach reminded him that he hadn't eaten anything yet that day. He placed his headphones on the soundboard and strode towards the kitchen area, praying silently that Kwest had left some of the ingredients that he used for his "super sandwiches".

Halfway across the lobby, he stopped short when he heard familiar laughter wafting through the air.

He looked up to see Jude, who had clearly woken up, in an animated conversation with a tall, impeccably dressed man. He could only see the man's back, but he didn't recognize him as a G-Major employee. His curiosity peaked, he began moving towards the boisterous conversation when the man turned in his direction.

Tommy stopped walking, his mouth dropping in unconcealed shock. His eyebrows rose in confusion as he tried to make sense of who was standing in front of him. "Jacob?"

* * *

A/N: Song used is Avril Lavigne's "Innocence" (and clearly not owned by me). 


	3. Chapter Two: The Opening Skirmish

**A/N: **Thank you so much for the comments! I really appreciate them and they truly do inspire me to keep writing. You'll have to excuse the sparseness of Jommy in this chapter, but it's necessary. You need to get to know the DuTois brothers a little better. :) (By the way, just for your information (since they're mentioned briefly here), Tommy and Jacob have three other siblings. Tommy is 27, Jacob is 24, Katherine is 20, and Andrew & Amelia (twins) are 15...)

Enjoy and please let me know what you think!

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**Chapter Two: The Opening Skirmish**

"What in God's name are you doing here?" Tommy yelled, the shock turning into horror as it hit him that it really was his brother standing in front of him. He ignored the stares of the G-Major employees, who had all stopped to gape at him at his outburst. He didn't care what they thought; he just wanted an answer to his question. That, and for his brother to promptly find the door with the exit sign hanging above it.

Jacob was smirking. The famous DuTois smirk, the very same one that he flashed at people all the time. But Jacob's smirk wasn't aimed at him. He turned his head, rolling his eyes in disgust to see Jude smiling back at his brother. 

Finally Jacob glanced his way, lessening the impact of his smile. Tommy knew his brother wouldn't want to waste that smile on someone who wasn't of the opposite sex. "Nice to see you too, big brother," Jacob said smoothly, sounding like he actually meant the words he spoke. Whether he really did or not, Tommy had no idea.

"Brother?" Jude choked out, her smile instantly falling off her face. Her cheeks became flushed and he wondered what exactly Jacob had said to her in the few minutes they had been talking. He pushed the thought out of his mind, his blood pressure beginning to rise to a dangerous level.

"I guess you two hadn't gotten to that part of the introductions, yet," he commented sarcastically, clenching his fists at his side as he noticed Jacob constantly peering back at Jude.

Tommy noticed her looking between the two of them, as if trying to digest the news that he had a brother and that he was actually right there. He had never shared anything about his family, so he wasn't surprised that it was a bit of a shock.

"Jude, if you'll excuse us I need to talk to my brother," he said, not waiting for a response before dragging Jacob roughly by the arm towards Studio A. Soundproof Studio A, where the sound of his screaming wouldn't be heard by all. He needed to find out what his brother was doing here. The sooner he knew that, the sooner he could get rid of him. And the sooner he wouldn't have to worry about the looks Jacob was giving Jude, even as he pulled him away from her.

He slammed the door behind them, surprised that the glass didn't shatter from the force he used.

"Jacob, what are you doing here?"

Jacob sat down in Kwest's chair and spun it lazily around to face him. He was making himself quite comfortable. Way too comfortable for the short conversation he planned on having. 

"Well, big brother, you were ignoring my calls. So, I figured I'd just come find you." There was a twinkle of mischief in his brother's eyes, like he was reveling in the anxiety he was causing. And if he knew his brother, then this was certainly not far from the truth. His brother was a great guy; he was funny and smart and kind. Well, to other people anyway. But as his brother, he had been exposed to the impish, annoying side of Jacob.

"Mom and Dad are okay? Katherine, Andrew and Amelia?" He felt a twinge of panic as he asked about his family, but he couldn't think of any other reasons for Jacob's sudden appearance.

"Of course, and busy as ever. They want you to visit. Mom was saying just the other day that it had been so long since she'd seen her precious Tommy." The last two words were dripping in sarcasm and he sighed, not wanting to get into another argument. He and Jacob had had more than enough for one lifetime. Or even two or three.

With only three years between them, the smallest gap between any of the DuTois siblings, they had constantly been competing. For their parents affection and attention, for toys, for friends. You name it, and they had fought about it. It didn't help that he and Jacob had always been polar opposites. He'd always been the bad boy, even as 

an adolescent. He'd hung out with older kids, thinking he was really cool for being able to fit in with them even at twelve years old. Jacob, on the other hand, was the good kid, the sweet kid. And he was smart. Mathematical genius smart. But he'd always been unpopular, an outcast because of the intelligence that made him different from everyone else. He could never claim that intelligence, so that was one area where his brother always won. Even now, his own unfinished education did not quite stand up to his brother's PhD in Architecture. He could still remember the way Jacob had relished in his expulsion from school in grade seven. His choice not to go back to school, and being looked upon with disappointment by their parents, was like a personal victory for his brother. The whole ordeal was still a sore spot with his parents, even now, and he never dared to talk about it with them. He could pinpoint that day as the one when he'd broken their hearts. They had relentlessly pushed him to go back to school but he had refused. And then, at fourteen he'd landed in Juvie after getting caught with drugs that his older "friends" had stranded him with. When he'd gotten out of Juvie a year later, he'd left home to join BoyzAttack. And, except for holidays and the very odd trip home, he never went back. But he had kept in contact with his all of his family members and he was well aware of just how successful his brother was.

Jacob's words snapped him out of his trip down memory lane. "Tom? Did you hear one word that I just said?"

His head snapped up. "What?"

Jacob laughed, the same familiar, cheerful laugh that he remembered from childhood. "I said I'm here to set up a Toronto branch of the architecture firm. The one in New Brunswick is doing well so Dad and I are setting up a new one here."

_What?_ This was the first he was hearing about this. "Dad never said anything the last time we talked." Even as he said this, he knew exactly why their father hadn't divulged this information to him. His dad had always assumed that Tommy, as his oldest son, would follow in his footsteps and become an Architect. Their dad owned his own firm and had made his plans clear to pass it down to him one day. Obviously that had not happened, and he was well aware of how disappointed his father still was in his choices. He also knew how happy Jacob had been to step into the role of the perfect, obliging son. Then again, that was just who Jacob was – the obedient, good-natured guy. No baggage from the past. No scars that wouldn't heal.

"Yeah, well... he didn't want to say anything until it was confirmed." Jacob averted his eyes at the mention of their father, and he could tell Jacob was getting uncomfortable with the direction of their conversation too. And it was in moments like this that he remembered why he _did_ love his brother. Because, regardless of the fighting and competing, Jacob wasn't really out to get him. At least, not anymore. As kids they had been particularly vicious in their competing, but it had been a long time since Jacob had really had to try to compete. It was a given that the well educated Architect always won out over the has-been boybander. 

Regardless of the fact that they had mellowed a bit over the years, that didn't mean he was comfortable with his brother's presence here. There was too much history, and still an underlying tone of rivalry and jealousy between them that never subsided. It was something that was apparent to both of them, but something they _tried_ to ignore when they were together for the sake of their other family members. Being around Jacob for too long meant an inevitable competition or fight. That was just part of the way their relationship had always been. And he really didn't want that kind of tension in his life again. He had enough to worry about.

"So you're in Toronto for how long?" he asked, more bluntly than he'd intended.

Jacob laughed, knowing the train of his thoughts. "Probably two or three weeks. I'm overseeing the setup and the hiring of the employees. And I'm going to be heading up this branch, so I'll probably swing into town a couple times a month." The smile on Jacob's face told him that his brother was enjoying the shock he was providing.

_A couple times a month?_ Tommy could already feel himself being encroached upon. His brother in Toronto? That couldn't be a good thing.

"Okay, so you needed to come and tell me all of this in person, why?" he asked, suddenly curious why Jacob hadn't just left him a voicemail like he always did when he had something to tell him.

Jacob smiled, a smile Tommy recognized only too well. It was a smile his brother used on people when he wanted something from them. "Well, this trip wasn't planned that far in advance. And when I got here, I didn't realize that the Toronto International Film Festival was running this week and next. So all the hotels are booked solid for the next two weeks."

And it finally dawned on him what his brother wanted. "Let me guess, you want to stay with me?"

"Just until I can find a hotel room, I promise. Besides, it will be like old times." Jacob was smiling. How could he be smiling when they both knew exactly what the _old times_ were like.

Tommy turned away from his brother, catching a glance of Jude talking to Speiderman in the lobby. "That's what I'm afraid of," he muttered beneath his breath, too quiet for his brother to hear him. He didn't like any of this – his brother's presence or the prospect of letting him staying with him. He was a private person and the only people he'd ever let inside his house were Jude, Kwest and Sadie (who really only obtained entry because she was Kwest's wife). But he wasn't heartless and he wasn't going to leave his brother with nowhere to sleep. Besides he had three extra bedrooms.

He spun back around to find his brother staring at him, waiting for the verdict.

"Fine," he conceded.

"Great, thanks Tom," Jacob said gratefully, standing up. "I'll swing by later and we can arrange the details." 

He nodded wordlessly, his brain racing with how, in one morning, things had changed so drastically.

He noticed Jacob's attention being caught by something in this lobby, where he had been focused only a minute earlier. "So, that's Jude, huh?"

His head shot up at the mention of Jude's name. "Leave her alone," he ordered instantly, his voice gruff with the anger that was starting to rise.

"You know, you mentioned her before, but you neglected to say how pretty she is." His voice was teasing, like he knew he'd hit a sore spot.

"I said leave her alone." He felt like he was being transported back to his youth, when he was 12 years old and he'd fought with Jacob over a girl. Except this time, the stakes were much higher.

"So, is she your latest conquest?" Jacob asked, turning around to face him.

"I'm not _that_ guy anymore. You know that." He hated when people assumed he was still the promiscuous playboy that he'd once been. He hadn't been that guy for a long time and Jacob knew that better than anyone. It was just something his brother said to get under his skin every once in a while.

"Okay, so if she's not a conquest, then she's your girlfriend?"

"No, she's a good friend. And she's my artist. That's it. Anyway, what does it matter? You're only here for two or three weeks," he pointed out defensively.

"So, I'm not supposed to make friends? She seemed very nice earlier, before you so rudely interrupted our discussion."

He laughed sardonically. "It couldn't have been that long of a conversation. She didn't even know you were my brother."

"Not everything is about you, big brother, regardless of what you think." Jacob commented bitterly.

He rolled his eyes, knowing that they were about to head into one of their knock-out, drag-down fights. The ones where Jacob pointed out how sick he was to always live in his brother's shadow. And the ones where he came back with how sick he was of how perfect Jacob tried to make himself out to be. And the insults only escalated from there. They were nasty and brutal and usually ended with a few punches and some bruises. They hadn't had one since he'd had visited home over three years ago, but he recognized the signs when one was starting.

"Excuse me." They both turned at the female voice that interrupted them.

Jude looked sheepishly between them, clearly aware that she'd come in at a particularly tense moment. "Sorry, umm.. I have to get to Sadie's and I just wanted to see if you needed me any more later today?"

He took a deep breath, forcing the anger to subside. "Nope, we got a lot done today. You go home and get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow," he said, smiling at her as best he could through the tension that was still thick in the room. "Do you need a ride?"

She waved off the offer. "Nope, I'll take a cab. I'll see you tom—"

"Where are you headed?" Jacob interjected.

Tommy turned to glare at his brother, knowing exactly where this was headed. Jacob completely avoided his gaze, keeping his attention on Jude.

"Just my sister's house on the west side of the city."

"I can take you. I'm headed out now anyway."

Tommy could feel the anger coming back swiftly to the forefront of his emotions. "If you need a ride, I can take you. I'm sure my brother has to get back to work," he seethed through his teeth.

"Nope, I've got the rest of the day off to sight-see." Jacob refused to look at him. Then again, he didn't have to, since he likely knew exactly the expression that would be on his face.

"Don't worry about it, it's okay. It's not that far," Jude protested, glancing quickly at him, trying to gauge what exactly was going on.

"I insist," Jacob said cheerfully, standing up and heading towards the exit.

Tommy could feel the situation spiralling out of his control but he had no idea what to do. It was just a ride. He couldn't order Jude not to take it. He'd seem like a psychopathic jerk.

Jude flashed him another puzzled look, before gazing back at Jacob. She shrugged her shoulders in concession. "Well, if you insist." She half-smiled at him, a silent goodbye, as Jacob led her out the door.

"I'll be back later, big brother," Jacob tossed over his shoulder as they left.

Tommy watched them as they left, Jude laughing at something Jacob leaned in to say to her. His heart dropped to his feet and he had the distinct feeling that he'd just lost the opening skirmish in a war.

* * *

Much later that afternoon, he had finally settled himself enough to actually work. He'd listened to Jude's song a million times, and he had to admit it was perfect.

He looked up from the soundboard as he caught a glimpse of someone entering the studio. He turned his head, noticing Kwest looking a bit confused.

He slipped his headphones off his ears, leaving them to hang around his neck. "What's up, man?"

"I just heard the most interesting news from Sadie. See, Jude visited her this afternoon but she wasn't alone. She was with your brother Jacob?"

Tommy sighed in frustration. What was Jacob doing?

He didn't respond, so Kwest continued. "Sadie spent the afternoon with them and they both played with little Sarah. And then Jude volunteered to take Jacob sight-seeing. Man, what is going on?"

Tommy rubbed a hand across his furrowed brow. "Jacob got here this morning. Something about setting up a branch of the firm here in Toronto. He's supposed to be here for two weeks. The longest two weeks of my life."

"And he already knows Jude?"

"They met this morning and he offered to drive her to your house to see Sadie since I drove her in this morning."

"Oh boy..."

"And I'm afraid it gets worse. He's going to be staying with me. All the hotels are booked because of the festival, so he's got nowhere else to stay."

"Do you think he likes Jude?"

"I have no idea. I mean, he was asking all kinds of questions about her this morning. It just makes me so... AHHH!" he yelled as he shoved a stack of papers off the soundboard in frustration. "The thing is, I know he's not a player. He's a good guy. He doesn't fool around or treat women badly. So, even though I don't want him anywhere near Jude, short of making something up I don't have any real reason to tell her to stay away from him. And if I tell her to stay away from him, you know she'll spend as much time with him as possible. Besides, what right do I even have to tell her what to do or not to do?" He sighed, hoping he was blowing the whole situation out of proportion. "Maybe it didn't mean anything. I'm probably making too much out of nothing."

"Hmmm.." Kwest mumbled, lost in thought.

"What?"

"Nothing, it just seems awfully familiar."

"What does?"

"You and Jacob, it's the same old crap. Some things never change, I guess."

Tommy ran his hands through his hair. He prayed to God that things would be different this time because if history indicated anything, he didn't stand a chance against Jacob DuTois. 


	4. Chapter Three: Words You Can't Take Back

A/N: Thank you all for your comments and your patience. I'm sorry it's been a while, but things have been crazy. Enjoy the chapter and please let me know what you think! :)

* * *

**Chapter Three: Words You Can't Take Back**

It was after eight o'clock that night before Jacob sauntered through the entrance of G-Major, and to Tommy's dismay, he wasn't alone. Jude, who was smiling intently at Jacob, was walking at his brother's side. Her cheeks were flushed and, as she bumped into a chair in the lobby, he noted that her behaviour was clumsy. He'd seen her act like this many times before in the five years he'd known her. These symptoms she was exhibiting, the blushing and the clumsiness, they could only mean one thing: she'd developed a crush on his brother. Just as she had developed one on Shay, Speid, Jamie and a few other nameless people over the years. He took a deep breath, trying to remind himself that crushes didn't seem to last where Jude was concerned.

He watched from the glass enclosed Studio A as the pair went their separate ways, Jude heading off towards the offices and Jacob walking towards the studio he was standing in.

He sat down quickly, pretending to be working on something. Less than a minute later, he heard the doorknob turning and spun in his chair to face his brother.

Jacob stood before him, an unconcealed grin beaming from his face.

"Enjoy your afternoon?" he asked, the sarcasm dripping from his words.

"I certainly did," Jacob said, still smiling. "Jude was nice enough to volunteer to show me around." Tommy watched his brother collapse in the chair next to his, visibly lost in thought. "Hey... do you know if Jude has a...significant other?"

He rolled his eyes in disgust. "Jacob, you've been here less than one day. Besides, she's 20 and you are leaving town in two weeks. Don't leave a mess I have to clean up."

Jacob eyed him angrily. "First of all, so what if she's 20? I'm only 24. And since when have I ever left a mess that you've had to clean up?? I think you're getting our roles reversed, big brother." His brother was seething, and for once, he couldn't really blame him. That statement was unfair, but the thought that Jacob was going to pursue Jude... it just messed with his mind.

"What happened to Justine, anyway?" he asked, trying to shift the subject off Jude. "Mom said you guys were getting serious."

It was his brother's turn to roll his eyes. He hadn't really thought about it, but that particular habit seemed to be one that ran in the family. "That was over six months ago. It didn't work out. She didn't appreciate my workaholic tendencies so she found someone who didn't love their work so much."

"I'm sorry," he muttered, unsure of what else to say. He felt an unexpected twinge of guilt that he was always way behind as far as knowing what was going on with his family members.

Jacob waved off his sympathy. "Things happen for a reason. Anyway, it's been a long while, and I realized that I don't think she was the girl for me anyway. Right now, I just want to relax, meet new people, and have some fun."

"I thought you were here for work, not play," he pointed out.

"I am here for work, but I'll need something to do with my evenings. And, well, no offense but as much as I love you, big brother, I can't spend three weeks with only you."

"Two weeks," he corrected.

Jacob smirked, clearly enjoying his discomfort. "I said between two and three."

"Great," he muttered under his breath, feigning a smile in his brother's direction.

Before he had a chance to shoot back, Jacob's phone began ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket, opening it simultaneously. "Hello?"

Tommy took the opportunity to try and catch his breath. So, two weeks might be more like three. He could deal with this. Well, he'd have to deal with this. He really didn't have much choice.

Jacob's voice broke through his thoughts. "Yeah, Mom, he's right here. Don't worry, he doesn't answer his cell phone for anyone."

Great. Now his brother was badmouthing him to their mother. He rolled his eyes again, hoping that by the time his brother left his eyes wouldn't get stuck like that.

"Hold on, I'll get him," Jacob said, holding the phone out to him. He took it, glaring at his smiling brother.

"Hi Mom," he said sweetly, watching out of the corner of his eye as Jacob strode back out to the lobby, where Jude just happened to be talking to Speid. While trying to focus on what his mom was saying, he couldn't help but be more concerned about how his brother kept touching Jude's shoulder lightly, or how he briefly ran his hand down her arm while laughing at something she said.

He managed to hear about half of the words his mom said, and he explained to her that she had been phoning his home number not his cell number, and that's why she never seemed to get a hold of him. The truth was nowhere near as sinister as the explanation his brother had given. Finally, after convincing his mom to call his cell phone if she needed him, and not his home number since he was barely at home, they hung up. He strode out to the lobby, noticing that Speid was nowhere to be found, leaving Jude and his brother conversing happily in the middle of the lobby.

"Hey," Jude said, smiling at his approach.

"I'm surprised to see you back here," Tommy commented as he positioned himself between the two of them.

"I forgot this in your office," she said, holding up her journal. She was smiling at him so sweetly that he almost forgot that his brother was even there.

"We're going to get some dinner," Jacob interjected suddenly. Tommy almost laughed, knowing his brother had purposely broken the moment he was sharing with Jude.

"Care to join us?" Jude asked, shooting another smile in his direction. How could he resist that?

"Sure, why not?" he answered, smirking at Jacob. He didn't even have to look at his brother to know that there would be disappointment painted all over his face. "Besides, we should stop by my place and unload your bags before we go, Jacob."

"Right," Jacob agreed reluctantly, clearly unimpressed with Tommy's inclusion in the night's plans. "Well, is everyone ready to go?"

Tommy had intended to finish a few more things off before he left, but they could wait until tomorrow. "Sure. Jacob, you can follow me and Jude back to my place," he said, grabbing a hold of Jude's hand and pulling her towards the door before his brother had a chance to protest. He knew his brother, if he was as interested in Jude as he seemed, he would use any opportunity to be alone with her. He heard a small laugh escape Jude's lips and he turned his head towards her.

She was smiling, clearly amused by the dynamic between him and Jacob. "You okay, Quincy?" she asked, still smirking wildly.

"I'm wonderful," he answered sarcastically, slackening his grip on her hand as they reached the Viper. As they settled in the car, he waited for Jacob to start his rental car before he pulled out of the parking lot. He glanced repeatedly in his rear-view mirror, making sure not to lose his brother on the way to his house. He wasn't completely heartless after all, and he didn't want his brother getting lost in the big city.

It was a smooth, but quiet ride. "I take it you and Jacob aren't exactly close," Jude observed, breaking the silence.

"You could say that," he answered cryptically, an edge of finality in his tone. He never shared anything about his family. It was a sore subject, to say the least, and the last thing he wanted to do was dredge up his past.

Jude took her cue not to ask any more questions, and the rest of the ride was silent. They reached his house without incident, and Jacob quickly stowed his bags in the door so that they could get on their way again.

They all climbed into the Viper and Tommy drove to a nearby restaurant, one he and Jude had visited on occasion after a late night of recording. It was a burger joint, boasting the best burgers in the city. He was pretty sure they were right. He'd certainly never tasted a better one.

They ordered shortly after arriving, and after the waitress left them, the three of them sat in a tense silence until Jude took it upon herself to begin the conversation. "So, Jacob, Tommy mentioned you're here for work. What exactly do you do?" He listened to the question, wondering if they hadn't covered this topic in their afternoon together, what the hell had they talked about?

"I'm an architect. It's the family business. Dad and I are actually opening up a branch of our architecture firm here in Toronto."

Jude was visibly surprised. "Wow. So, I take it business is going well?"

"Very well. Dad always wanted to expand but he wanted to wait until he had a partner to help him. And last year I just finished my PhD in Architecture."

Jude's eyebrows lifted, clearly impressed. "A PhD? That's amazing."

Jacob filled her in on a few more details of his intellectual achievements and Tommy rolled his eyes in annoyance. He was beginning to get a headache from listening to how wonderful and smart his brother was.

"So how long are you in town for?" she asked.

"I'm not sure, really."

"Only two or three weeks, isn't that right?" Tommy asked, interjecting himself into the conversation for the first time.

His brother smirked in Jude's direction, almost completely ignoring his presence. "I'm not sure. We'll have to see how things go."

"So do you guys have any other siblings?" she asked, her curiosity about his family evidently piqued. She'd asked questions over the years, but he'd never answered her. Apparently, she knew this was her one chance to find out anything she wanted to know.

Jacob laughed. "Gosh, Tommy, have you told her nothing?" He ignored his brother's eyes, focusing intently on the coke the waitress had just placed down in front of him. "We have a sister Katherine, she's 20. And we have another brother and sister, Andrew and Amelia, and they're both 15."

"Twins?"

Jacob nodded, pulling out his wallet. He flipped through the pictures until he found the ones he was looking for and handed them to Jude. "This one's Katherine. And those two are Andrew and Amelia," Jacob said, pointing to the two smiling adolescents who had the same dark hair and blue eyes as all the DuTois children did. Tommy eyed the pictures, thinking how much Amelia and Andrew had changed since he'd seen them last. Jacob turned to look at him, saying "That reminds me. I was talking to Amelia this morning before I left. She's doing a project on BoyzAttack and needs your help filling in some of the information. I think she was hoping for some inside scoop." He nodded, adding it to the mental list of things he needed to do. He'd have to think of something special to give Amelia for her project. She was the one sibling he had a major soft spot for. Regardless of how little he came home or what he did, that girl worshipped him. He figured it was because of his lifestyle, but whatever it was, he hoped that gleam that shone in her eyes whenever she saw him never faded. At times it was the only reason he actually went home at all.

"They're beautiful. Actually you all look quite alike," Jude commented, still looking at the pictures of his siblings. "I can't believe you've never mentioned them before," she said, shooting him a look of disbelief. He was sure he sensed a bit of disappointment hiding in her look too.

She turned back to Jacob, asking a few more questions about Katherine's life (she was just beginning to study to be a doctor) and what the twins liked in school (Amelia liked English and Music and Andrew liked Math). Andrew had always been really smart, even as a young child. He was pretty sure Andrew was going to be the second DuTois son to follow in the family business.

When the waitress finally dropped off their meals, they began eating in silence, Jude's curiosity about his family apparently sated.

Jude, in accordance with her recent pledge to eat healthier, had ordered a large garden salad. He couldn't help but notice, however, that she was salivating over his fries and burger. He moved his plate closer to her, knowing what would come next. She reached over, as per her usual habit, and stabbed her fork into one of his fries. It hit him that she was the only person he'd ever allowed to do such a thing. He would have normally been disgusted at someone stealing food off his plate. He thought it was kind of comical that it didn't bother him at all when she did it. As long as he could remember, Jude had stolen food from him, even when she ordered something she actually liked. It had started out as something she did to irritate him, knowing that he found it slightly gross. But over the past five years, it had become a ritual every time they dined together. It didn't matter what he ordered or what he was eating, she always stole something off his plate.

Noticing her enjoyment of the fries she was stealing, he cut his hamburger, and placed half on her plate. She shot him an appreciative look before beginning to ingest the scrumptious burger. She closed her eyes in pure adulation. They were amazing burgers, after all.

He smirked at her wholehearted pleasure, and caught a glance at his brother, who was eying their exchange curiously. He'd honestly almost forgotten that Jacob was there. That tended to happen a lot when he was around Jude. Everyone else seemed to fade away, and leave his mind with only thoughts of her.

He caught the direction of his thoughts before they went too far. He had to stop himself from thinking of her in that way. He'd fought it for five years and he'd gotten pretty good at it. Something about Jacob's arrival had shaken him though, heightened his awareness of Jude and his feelings for her. But it didn't matter. There were many good reasons why he'd never let their relationship get to that point and he just had to do his best to remember them.

The three of them dined in silence, only occasionally sharing a remark about the food or the restaurant. When the bill came, Jacob insisted on paying, regardless of his assertion that he would pay.

As they made their way to the Viper, Jacob opened the door for Jude and she jumped into the back seat. Tommy turned the key in the ignition, addicted to the purring sound the engine made as it started.

"Do you want to go for a drive somewhere?" Jude asked suddenly, her voice wafting from the back towards his ears in the front. He'd do anything she asked, and he was pretty sure she knew it.

He could see Jacob check his watch. It was already 10:00 pm. "I wish I could but I've got a meeting tomorrow at 7:30 with some of the builders." He could hear the regret in his brother's voice. He knew the last thing Jacob would want to do is miss an opportunity to spend more time with Jude, especially with the limited time he had in Toronto. But he also knew his brother was a responsible guy. Unlike him, his brother wouldn't stay out all night and show up late for work, or show up unprepared. His brother just wasn't built that way.

"I'll swing you home first, Jacob. Then if you still want to go, I'll take you for a ride, Jude." He was suddenly glad that it was dark as he felt himself blushing, naughty thoughts entering his mind of another way he'd like to _ride_ her.

He pulled up at his house within minutes, and handed his brother the spare key to his house. "Don't wait up," he whispered, knowing he only was making the torture worse for his brother.

Jacob glared at him viciously as he stepped out of the car. Jude crawled into the front seat, settling the seatbelt around her hips. "It was nice meeting you, Jacob. I'm sure I'll see you soon," she said, and he had to resist the urge to groan as his brother leaned down to kiss her cheek.

He waited until his brother had let himself into the house before pulling the car away from the curb. "Any place in particular you want to go?"

"The pier," Jude answered certainly. Tommy shot her a questioning look, which she didn't respond to. They hadn't been to the pier in a very long time. Not since the time, just over a year ago, he'd been helping her with a song and he'd almost kissed her. He hadn't meant to, but for a second he'd lost control of himself and he'd leaned in, their lips unbearably close. He'd managed, somehow, to stop himself, to pull back and pretend it hadn't happened. She'd looked 

at him with such confusion and disappointment. She hadn't talked to him for a week after that. So, he wondered, why would she want to go there now?

He lived only minutes from the pier, and in what seemed an instant, they were standing against the rails, looking into the water. He was silent, enjoying the presence of her so close to him. Just the two of them. It felt like they hadn't been alone all day, and he didn't like it. He liked having time that was dedicated to just them, even it was just working on a song, and he became a bit cranky when he didn't get it. It was probably some twisted way of being close to her, when he knew he couldn't have what he really wanted with her. But he didn't care. With her standing so near, he didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to enjoy looking at her, and smelling the familiar scent of her as it wafted through the air.

"How come you never told me about your family?" she asked, her question filling the silence with tension.

"I never thought it was important, I guess. It's not something I talk about to anyone."

She turned her head towards him, and her eyes held a look he didn't quite understand. He felt guilt wash over him as he recognized disappointment as one of the emotions swirling around behind her eyes. But there was a mix of other feelings he couldn't place. Before she turned away, however, he swore he saw hurt flash in her iridescent blue orbs.

"Your brother asked me out. You know... just to talk... or whatever," she announced. His breath caught in his throat. Dear God, Jacob moved quickly. Not even a day and he'd already asked her out. "Does that bother you, Quincy?" she asked, spinning her whole body around to face him.

For some reason, he felt like everything was hanging in the balance with this question. The tone of her voice, it was like she was testing him. But testing what, he wasn't sure.

_Yes. Yes. Hell, yes, it bothers me._ His mind screamed at him to say those words. But he knew he had no right to do that. Instead, he forced out the words that he knew he had to say. "No. Why would it?" He had no reason to protest and he knew it. Regardless of how he felt about his brother pursuing her, it would have been unfair to object. Not when he didn't have a valid reason. Not one he could act on, anyway.

This time he saw the unconcealed hurt shining in her eyes for a moment before she made an effort to hide it. Within minutes, the mood between them had become tense and uncomfortable. She took a deep breath, turning to look at the water again. She glanced around at everything for a few moments, in what seemed like an effort to memorize everything around her, before she spoke again. Without looking at him, she said, "I'm suddenly not feeling so well. Can you take me home?"

"Of course," he said, placing an arm on her lower back to lead her back to the car. She sped up, walking out of reach of his hand. He opened the passenger door, and as she climbed in, she completely avoided his gaze. The entire ride to her apartment, she stared out the window, not speaking. He knew her well enough to know that the wheels of her brain were spinning, stewing 

over their conversation. She was angry, and he didn't know how to fix it. Well he did, but kissing her senseless wasn't an option he could actually act out.

When they arrived at her building, she stepped out of the car and slammed the door without a word. He waited to make sure she was safely in the lobby before he drove away. On the way home, he couldn't stop thinking of the many ways he'd screwed up with her in one night, of all the words he couldn't take back. First, he made it appear like he didn't trust her enough to tell her about his family, when in truth, she's the only one he'd even thought of telling about his awkward family arrangement. And he knew how indifferent he must have appeared to her possible relationship with Jacob, when in reality, it made his blood boil to think of her even touching someone else, especially his own brother. But he also knew he had no right to interfere in her personal life. He couldn't; not when he had no intention of ruining what they had by acting on his feelings for her. He had always recognized that his feelings for her were not one-sided, and it was even more evident to him by her reaction tonight. But that didn't change the reality that he was bad for her; he always would be.

As he parked the Viper, he mulled over how she angry she was when he'd dropped her off. He hated that she was mad at him. It always unnerved him when something was off between, like there was a dark cloud over his life that only she could get rid of. It also bothered him how so much of his life was wrapped up in her. She would likely give him the cold shoulder for the next few days, and he knew because of that, they would be a few of the worst days of his life. That kind of dependence frightened him, not that he'd change it.

He let himself into his house, and headed up to bed. He hoped Jacob was sleeping because he was definitely not in the mood for a confrontation tonight. He walked quietly to his bedroom, thankful that he didn't hear a sound in the house. He stripped off all his clothes except his boxers and slid into bed. He had no doubt that it would be a restless night. Not when the only thing he could think about was the hurt shining from her eyes. And the fact that he'd most likely just thrown her into the waiting arms of his brother.


	5. Chapter Four: Hanging On Too Long

Hi! First, I'm SO sorry that this chapter took so long. It's been a labour of love that was sidetracked by a whole bunch of complications the last few weeks. I'm taking a couple of intensive spring courses which are just eating up all of my time. That said, I thankfully do have an update for you. (YAY!) I really like it and I hope you do too.

I also wanted to add that this story is changing a bit. Well, after consulting a few of my wonderful "colleagues," I've decided that this story is going to be a bit of an experiment. By that I mean, from now on it's always going to be from a first person point of view. I'll let you know each chapter who's POV it's going to be from. I think that changing the POV will give you some insight into what the other characters are thinking (which will hopefully give you a fuller, more enjoyable reading experience.) This particular chapter is from **TOMMY's POV.** Anyway, thanks for your patience with all the changes, and the long wait. You guys are the best!

A special thanks to three wonderful people. InstantStarFan, CarenicoleIQ and Gwynwhyver (my amazing beta) all helped me out this chapter a lot so THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! You guys are seriously amazing.  
Now, onto the chapter! Enjoy and please let me know what you think!!

--Steph

* * *

**Chapter Four: Hanging On Too Long**

I turn over restlessly, trying desperately to force myself back to sleep. Sleep has been evading me for hours, no matter how tightly I squeeze my eyelids shut. I sigh loudly before rolling myself purposely right out of bed. There's no use trying to fight this any longer. I'm only beginning to drive myself completely crazy. Actually, let's face it, I'm already more than halfway there, anyway. I perch myself on the edge of my bed, rubbing my eyes furiously.

I've tossed and turned for more than half the night, frustrated and unsettled with how I left things with Jude last night. I keep telling myself it shouldn't bother me the way it does but I can't help it.

She's important to me. More than anyone else, I care about her, about what she thinks. And believe me, I know it would be better if I didn't. But what the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't exactly turn my feelings or thoughts off. Believe me, I wish I could.

Whenever I did manage to drift off to sleep last night, the only dream I kept having was about Jude. Now, dreaming about her isn't an uncommon occurrence. But this dream was vastly different from all the ones before. She was standing at the head of a beautifully ornamented church, her blonde hair cascading down her back, glittering in the sunshine that was filtering in through the large windows. I couldn't take my eyes off her as I stood at the end of the aisle. But as I tried to move towards her, I realized that I was completely paralyzed. It's only when the 

preacher began to speak that I moved my eyes to the groom. It was Jacob. And I was forced to watch helplessly as Jude promised her life to my brother.

As I run my hand through my mussed hair, I realize that I must have had that dream more than four times in the short intervals that I was able to sleep. That wasn't a dream; hell, that was a nightmare. The second most frightening one I've ever had. Yes, second. The first, a recurring dream I've had on and on for the past five years, is too disturbing to allow my mind to think about. But the problem is that the only other thoughts plaguing my mind are that of Jude and Jacob.

I shudder, my brain focusing back on the vision of Jude marrying my brother. Jude, my sister-in-law? Dear God. I'd have to move to Antarctica if that ever happened.

I focus my bleary eyes on the alarm clock, noticing through the haze that it's 6:30.

My head is pounding as I stand up, and everything begins to spin. Dear God, I need coffee. Desperately. I chuckle quietly to myself, wondering if this is what Jude feels like every morning before she gives into her caffeine addiction.

As I paddle downstairs towards the kitchen, I'm caught off guard by the sound of someone whistling.

Jacob.

Honestly, I had almost forgotten he's staying here. Well, I've been told the mind has a habit of blocking traumatic or unwelcome events in your life. And this definitely fits into both categories. Or maybe it's that my thoughts have been too caught up in the image of his wedded bliss with Jude.

He must have heard entrance because he spins to face me, flashing me a quick, amused smile. "Do you realize you have almost nothing to eat in this kitchen?"

"I'm not home much," I answer, wondering why I'm even justifying my habits to him. I turn to pour a cup of coffee that he has thankfully already made. After taking the first sip, I release a sigh of relief, the warmth and intensity of the strong black coffee warming my body and instantly waking my mind.

He must have found some bread because I watch him chewing quickly on some toast as he reads the morning paper. Of course. I'd almost forgotten his morning ritual. Every morning he reads the newspaper in order to keep himself up to date on current events. I smirk at how little things seem to change. He's been this way since he was ten years old. While he was worrying about political upheaval and foreign wars, I was worrying about girls and when the next U2 or AC/DC album was coming out. I guess our priorities and interests have always been a bit opposite.

"So, Jacob, what are you doing today?" I ask, attempting civility. He is my brother after all, and I've long neglected trying to have any kind of meaningful relationship with him.

I can see his surprised eyes staring at me over the top of his newspaper. He's probably astonished that I actually care. To be honest, so am I.

He lowers the paper slowly, as if also lowering, even imperceptibly, the wall between us. "Well, I've got those early meetings this morning. It will probably take most of the morning to sort out all the details of the development." I can see the strain on his face at the overwhelming job ahead of him. Just like the rest of us, he's not immune to stress or worry. I often find myself forgetting that when I think of my "perfect" little brother.

I feel myself softening my stance towards him as we stand facing each other in the kitchen. Something inside is urging me to make an effort with him. Probably the same part that's always telling me to be tolerant of Vincent Speiderman, no matter how annoying he is. "Do you want to meet for lunch, catch up a bit?" I hear the words spill out of my mouth, unsure for a moment that it's actually me who has spoken them.

"I can't," he says quickly, turning suddenly away and lifting the paper in front of him again. Before my view of his face is obstructed, however, I notice the look he always gets in his eyes when he's hiding something. And I swear I see a bit of a smirk forming too. Even if I've only seen him on and off for the last ten years, he's still my little brother and I still know him. And I know that look means there's something he doesn't want me to know. Or more correctly, he does want me to know, but he wants me to have to drag the information out of him.

Even though I know the way he is, I'm still unable to resist the urge to find out what he's hiding. Curiosity takes over as I approach him, swiping the paper out of the way so I can see him. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," he says shortly, suddenly very interested in the G-Major logo on the coffee mug he's drinking out of.

"Why can't you have lunch?"

"I have a prior engagement," he answers, the word "engagement" sending chills down my spine, the memories of my dream too fresh in my mind. He begins rinsing out his coffee mug, still not looking me in the eye.

And then the pieces begin to put themselves together in my mind. A previous engagement. With Jude. That would be the only explanation for his secretive behavior, and wanting to taunt me with it in his own unique way.

"You're having lunch with Jude," I announce. He immediately stops fiddling with his dishes and turns toward me, a contemplative look on his face.

"Yes," he finally answers. "She called me this morning. Early. Told me she wanted to take me up on my offer to take her out."

"You're going out on a date. With Jude," I clarify, feeling the anger rising within me. While I can feel my blood boiling, he's standing in front of me never having looked more serene.

"Yes. She told me she talked to you and you were okay with it."

"That's not exactly the word I'd use," I mutter underneath my breath, the fury spreading throughout my body.

"Well," he says, his calmness suddenly vanishing, "I don't need your approval and neither does Jude. Although, for some reason I'll never understand, she apparently feels like she does."

That's it. That's all I can take. Who does he think he is to judge my relationship with Jude? I quickly gap the distance between us, poking my finger roughly into his chest as I speak. "Don't you dare pretend to think you know how things are between me and Jude. You've known her for **one** day. Don't think you suddenly know what's best for her." I've completely lost my temper and my ability to control the volume of my voice. Jacob has always had the ability to get under my skin. And he's always relished every opportunity to do it.

His eyes are shining angrily and I feel like I've been transported back to my childhood. "Maybe someone other than you needs to look out for what's best for her! When she called me this morning, she was clearly upset. And I'm going to take a wild guess that there's only one person to blame for that," he snaps, slamming his mug down in this sink.

It has been a day and, already, his intrusion into my life and my relationship with Jude is way more than I can handle. And now, like always, he's charging in, declaring what's best for everyone. Somewhere deep inside, I know he probably means well, but that doesn't change the fact that he's crossed the line.

_Remember, Quincy, he's your brother_, I repeat to myself over and over, trying to maintain my composure. Fratricide is a sin. A very, very bad one. As the story of Cain and Abel passes briefly through my mind, I begin to ponder how much of a sin it is if it's actually justified.

"You know what, little brother? You don't know her or me. So, stay out of my business!" I yell, banging my coffee mug on the table before beginning to storm out of the room. I've definitely had enough of this conversation. And Jacob, for that matter. "Oh, and don't forget to look for a hotel!" I call loudly over my shoulder, a parting shot, as I quickly escape yet another rousing DuTois brothers argument.

* * *

It's early when I pull up in front of Jude's apartment building but, since I know she's up and making plans with my brother, also known as the devil incarnate, I figured it wouldn't be too early to come and talk to her. Devil incarnate? Okay, so maybe that's harsh. But not totally uncalled for. However, I must admit that on the ride to Jude's my temper has calmed considerably; the collection of brain cells I have left, the ones that weren't killed by the stupid things I did or drank when I was part of BoyzAttack, banded together and forced me to grudgingly admit that some of what Jacob said is true. I am to blame for making Jude upset, although, I don't know exactly what else I could have done differently. Say that it isn't okay to go out with Jacob? Even a sometimes arrogant jerk such as me sees that that would be completely selfish. Especially considering I couldn't tell her _why_ I didn't want her anywhere near my brother.

As I stand in front of Jude's apartment door, I have literally no idea what I'm going to say. I know I need to apologize, but for what? For doing what I needed to do so that I didn't hurt her more in the long run? I mean, the fact is that she shouldn't be this upset. Somewhere along the line, I've allowed her to get too close. I'm not completely unperceptive, and I've noticed over the years that she had become just as _attached_ as I have to our friendship. But I've evaded any feelings past that level. Not to say that it's been easy. Four years later, and I still have flashbacks of the kiss I gave her on her sixteenth birthday. It's been almost impossible not to enact a repeat performance of that kiss. Sometimes I find myself being actually cruel with her in an attempt to put distance between us. But it never lasts. I always make up for it by some small act of friendship and we fall into the same familiar pattern. For years there have been these feelings, this tension between us. It's been like the elephant in the room, the one that I won't allow myself to acknowledge.

And now she thinks I don't care. She just doesn't know how much I've suffered to keep how I feel from her, to protect her from me.

I knock loudly, unable to put off seeing her any longer. The thought of her sad and angry, and hating me, makes me desperate to make it right. To smooth things over as quickly as possible. Not that she'll be over being mad today. But the earlier I start apologizing, the sooner she'll think of forgiving me.

I begin to fidget nervously as I wait for her to answer the door. I can't hear any sound of movement from inside the apartment and I wonder if she's gone back to sleep. This is an early, almost ungodly, time for Jude to be awake. I keep knocking, resolving to stand in front of the door until she talks to me. Or yells at me. Whichever she prefers.

_Where is she?_

One of Jude's neighbors, an older man I've met on occasion when I've walked Jude up to her apartment, begins to pass by me, but halts down the hall a little when he sees me knocking.

"I take it you're looking for Miss Harrison?"

I nod, and he begins to shake his head. "I'm afraid you missed her. She left over an hour ago. I saw her walking towards the elevators when my wife headed out to work."

"Thank you," I say absently, not paying attention to him anymore. I'm completely consumed by what he's told me.

For the first morning in a very long time, she hadn't waited for me to pick her up. Somewhere in my mind, I knew it was honestly rather silly that I still picked her up anyway. She has a car, her beloved Mustang. But I've been picking her up every morning for the five years we've worked together. It's just one of those little routines, those habits that neither of us wanted to break even if it wasn't necessary anymore.

This isn't good. Not at all. It's not like her to ditch one of our daily routines, regardless of how angry she is at me. My heart sinks to my feet at the ramifications of what this means. Something's changed, and I know instinctually that I'm not going to like it.

* * *

I race through the side streets, taking the quickest route I know to get to G-Major. I chastise myself for being so unsettled, so thrown off by something so minor. Except it doesn't feel _minor_. I rush through the doors of G-Major, only to find my path to studio A to be suddenly blocked by Kwest.

"What's up?" I ask bluntly.

"We need to talk," he answers, and I know immediately by his look that it's about Jude.

Instead of continuing on to Studio A as I'd intended, I lead Kwest towards my office and close the door behind us.

"What's going on?"

He's looking at me oddly all of a sudden. "First of all, as your friend, I must ask you what the hell you are wearing." I look down to see that my button down shirt is on inside out. I could pretend that it's a new fashion statement, but I'm guessing the horrified look on my face has already given me away. I was in such a rush this morning to get to Jude's I guess I didn't notice that I put my shirt on inside out. Jesus, that girl makes my fucking head spin.

Making a mental note to fix my shirt after Kwest leaves, I continue interrogating him. "Okay, what else is going on?"

"Jude, she's been here for over an hour already, recording. I was here early to finish up some mastering and she walked into the studio, demanding that I record a new demo for D. I told her we should wait for you, but she just glared at me. Like a death glare. Dude, whatever's going on, you need to fix it."

"Is she raging? Yelling?" I ask, predicting the regular reactions when she's furious with me.

"No. That's the scary part. She's just sad. She just sat on the stool with her guitar and sang. You need to listen to understand what I mean. I've never seen or heard her like this before." He hands me the CD of the new demo.

I nod at him, acknowledging that I will listen to it, and he takes his cue to leave.

Fixing my shirt quickly, I then pop the CD into my stereo, and lean back in my chair to listen.

As I hear the first few words, I sense something is different about her and her singing. It's more haunting and reflective. I wonder to myself if I wasn't the only one up most of last night.

_It was just my mistake  
Thinking you cared  
It was just my mistake  
Thinking you'd be there  
That you would be by my side  
And that you wouldn't lie  
My mistake_

I sigh loudly, taking in every word, every note. The music is slow, and her voice is full of paining and mourning.

Well, it looks like I've finally accomplished my goal of getting her to accept that we could never be anything more than friends. I wonder why, then, it feels so completely unsatisfying.

_I know it's wrong  
Hanging on too long  
I know it's wrong  
Hanging on too long  
And I need to move on  
I'm hanging on too long_

As the potency of her words begins to set in, I can feel my throat tightening. _Isn't this what you've always wanted? For her to distance herself?_ It is what I've always believed would be better. But now that I sense it happening, all I can feel running through my veins is panic. Pure, raw, unadulterated panic.

_I was a fool for you  
Right from the start  
I was a fool for you  
Hoping for a spark  
For some kind of sign  
That you would be mine_

I am hers. She can't know that, but that doesn't change the truth. I reach for the stop button, so tempted not to listen to anymore. It's difficult to hear how vulnerable and hurt she sounds, and that I am at fault for it. Knowing that I could change everything, make it better even for one minute, makes me want to run to the studio and tell her everything I've been holding back for almost five years.

But I can't. I run my hands through my hair, not caring if I mess up my perfectly gelled coif. I can't ever forget the reasons why I can't cross that line with her, no matter how much I want to.

_I know it's wrong  
Hanging on too long  
And I know it's wrong  
Hanging on too long  
And I need to move on  
I'm hanging on too long_

As silence fills the room, I remain sitting, speechless and paralyzed. Objectively, I must admit it was a beautiful song. But as Tommy, the man, it distresses me. Does it mean that she wants me out of her life completely? Because, call me selfish, but I don't think I could live with that. In fact, I know I'm selfish and more than likely torturing both of us, but I can't run away from her. Believe me, on more than one occasion I've considered fleeing Toronto. But I've never been able to make myself go. The thought of not seeing her everyday… it just feels _wrong_.

I stand quickly and make my way towards the studios, determined to find her and sort out some sort of truce or understanding. This is silly. I'm not going to let her throw away five years of friendship and a great working relationship.

I peek in Studio A to see that it's empty. I notice Karma in Studio B, so I head towards Studio C. The place Jude goes to hide away from everyone. Everyone but me that is. Usually when she's holed up in there, I'm right there with her. I'm getting the distinct feeling of being pushed to the outside of her life.

I attempt to turn the knob only to find that it's locked. She actually locked me out. I take a deep breath, and sigh in frustration. I knock lightly, calling her name through the door.

"Go away," she calls back. Even though I can't see her, I can sense the anger in her voice.

"Jude, we need to talk."

She opens the door slightly, sticking her head out. "We don't need to talk. I've actually heard all I need to hear from you." I marvel at the residual effect that one simple statement can have.

"Look, Jude—"

"Don't," she interjects, cutting me off. "I don't want to hear another apology from you. Besides you didn't do anything wrong, now did you? In fact, I think you actually did something right. You showed me that I need to be over all of this. The drama, the tension, the… well.. you know," she says motioning between the two of us. "I'm done being pathetic and hanging on your every word. I'm just…done. It's time for a change, Quincy. You finally made me see that. So, don't apologize. Let me thank you." Her tone is bitter and angry, and I have to stop myself from stepping back from her fury. She's gone from sad to angry in a matter of hours. Then again, I'm not oblivious to the hurt still shining in the depths of her eyes.

"Jude—"

"No, it's fine. Look, do we have work to do today?" she asks, clearly intending to change the subject.

"Well, I still have to give Darius the demo you recorded this morning for him to approve it, but we do have to put the final vocal touches on 'Innocence'."

"Fine, let's do it," she says, brushing past me quickly.

I watch her walk away, feeling so helpless and conflicted. This is what I want; she's moving on. But then, this is also exactly the opposite of what I want. I'm such a fucking mess, I think to myself, shaking my head as I begin to follow Jude to Studio A.

Something tells me it's going to be a long morning.

* * *

In the five years I've worked with Jude, I've never had a more unproductive studio session than we did this morning. Besides being off vocally, she fought every change I asked her to make. After politely reminding her at least four times that I was the producer, she conceded and sang it how I wanted. But it was a fight every step of the way.

After finally getting a few good takes out of her, I told her she could take off for the day. I was only getting more frustrated by the minute, and I could feel a confrontation building.

As I watched her quickly gathering her stuff and heading towards the exit, I glanced at the clock. 11:30. Reality hit me, with a wave of what I can only classify as jealousy, that she was mostly likely heading out to meet Jacob.

Great. Just great.

How exactly did my life begin to unravel so fucking quickly?

And now, at 8:30, with all the mixing done, I'm about to finally head out myself. I think about swinging by Jude's apartment, not that I think it will do any good.

"Hey T," Kwest calls from the doorway, "You up for a drink tonight?"

I begin to say no, but then I change my mind. Why not? Maybe it will help take my mind off the horrifying nature of the situation I've created for myself. Besides, it will prolong going home and facing Jacob again. "Sure, where?"

"The Indigo Club. Say half an hour?"

"Sure. I'll be there."

Maybe a good old-fashioned night of drinking is just what I need. A painful hangover will give me something else to focus on besides Jude. And Jacob. And Jude _and_ Jacob.

* * *

I walk into the crowded club, wondering if I've honestly made the right choice in coming. All I really want to do is go home and sulk. Yeah, I know; as you can tell, I've got big plans for a wonderful evening. But the last two days have been draining, and I feel like my life has been on fast-forward, giving me no time to actually think.

I make my way towards the bar, waiting for Kwest. I know I had initially planned to get drunk, to forget everything, but now I'm thinking it would be perhaps more wise to have one polite drink before making an early exit. I'm really not in the mood for this scene tonight.

The room is reverberating with sound, the DJ playing Rihanna's "Don't Stop the Music" at an almost deafening volume. The beat is pulsating through my body, and I turn to see the club area half-filled with people dancing and grinding, flesh on flesh, on the dance floor.

Before I turn back to the bar, a flash of bright red catches my eye. As I focus on it, I wonder why it looks so familiar. And then, as I take in the blonde hair and fitted jeans, I realize that it's Jude. She's standing off to the side of the dance floor, and as she leans in to talk to someone, my eyes shift towards her companion. Of course, I know exactly who I'm going to see before I even look at him. There's my little brother, laughing boisterously at something Jude just said to him.

Why? Why did they have to be here? Why are they even together? Lunch was 8 hours ago!

She leans in towards him again, and he runs his hand down her arm casually. Seeing them together is like watching a disaster, a horrible catastrophic event that, for some sick reason, I can't turn away from. Even though it's killing me. She moves closer, standing on her toes to kiss his cheek briefly.

I clench my fists tightly, feeling my nails digging deeply into my palms. I close my eyes from the pain and the desperation to look away from the sight in front of me.

I can feel my heart beating rapidly inside my chest. I force myself to turn around, to keep my line of sight away from them.

The bartender approaches to take my drink order. "Vodka on the rocks, please," I spit out, still unable to verbalize much more than that.

"Hey T, you got here quickly," I hear Kwest say as he sits on the stool beside mine.

"I really wish I hadn't," I mutter, taking a large gulp of my drink as the bartender drops it off in front of me.

"Why?" he asks, eyeing me curiously. I tilt my head in the direction of the dance floor, and out of the corner I see him searching for the source of my anxiety. I know the moment he sees them because his eyes mirror his complete shock.

"Yeah, that's why," I say, quickly swallowing the rest of my drink.

Kwest seems mesmerized by the unexpected sight, and I turn around, unable to resist the torturous urge to look again. This time it's even worse. They're dancing to Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown's "No Air," a slower song that allows for couples to move more closely, more intimately. The exact thing I _don't_ want to see.

If I was an objective observer, I might think it was amusing because Jacob can't dance. He didn't inherit any of those genes whatsoever. But I can't be objective enough to be amused. All I can see is the way he has his arms twined around the small of her back. And the way they're goofing around by taking turns spinning each other. It's not exactly romantic, but it's still too much.

Without thinking, without allowing my brain or common sense to stop me, I storm right into the middle of the dance floor and roughly tap Jacob on the shoulder. "Do you mind if I cut in?" I feel suddenly like I'm in fucking junior high.

I see Jacob eye Jude, who nods imperceptibly and mumbles something about "not making a scene." Jacob and I exchange glares before he stalks off towards the bar, where I notice him take a seat beside Kwest.

I turn my attention back to Jude, who's staring at me with an angry, yet puzzled, look on her face.

I offer my hand and she has no choice but to take it. The alternative really is to cause a scene in the middle of the dance floor. And considering we're both recognizable celebrities, something like that would more than likely end up in some trashy tabloid.

I envelop her dainty hand in my much larger one and I settle my other hand on her lower back, bringing her closely against me. It's hard to ignore how perfectly our bodies fit together, like two halves that are meant to be intertwined. I push those dangerous thoughts out of my mind, a process that's made even more difficult when I hear her labored breathing.

Her body feels warm and inviting against my skin, a stark contrast to the distant look painted on her face. I can't resist the urge to tighten my hold slightly, bringing her completely into the fold of my arms. We move slowly to the music for a while, and I can feel her hips swaying the music against my own. I look down to see that her eyes are averted, but I can tell by the concentrated expression on her face, and the way she's biting down on her bottom lip, that she's deep in thought.

I try to saturate myself in the feel of her softness, her warmth, her scent. Except for the occasional hug, I usually try to avoid such close contact. It's the worst kind of torture, teasing myself with short interludes of what I'll never have. But, just this once, I can't resist.

As my eyes gaze upon her face, I try to ignore the words of the song, lyrics that capture just how lost I would feel without her.

_But how do you expect me  
to live alone with just me  
'Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breathe_

I don't want to think that she'll ever be out of my life. The very thought sends panic rushing up my spine.

I need to come to some sort of resolution with her; I know I need to say something, even if it's not as much as I wish I could say. I take a deep breath, before forcing myself to break the silence between us. "I know you don't want to hear it, but I really am sorry. If you think I don't care about you, you're wrong." She lifts her chin, looking me squarely in the face now. "You're my friend, my _best_ friend," I continue, feeling my voice crack as I admit that to her for the first time. "I don't want anything to ruin that. Even my own stupidity."

I feel her relax slightly against me, leaning against me more closely than she had been allowing herself to. A small smile begins to form at the corner of her mouth. "So, I'm your best friend, huh?" she asks, and I can barely hear her over the music.

I nod, hoping that my words have made some measure of difference to her. I lean down, and whispering loudly enough that she'll hear me, I joke, "Don't tell Kwest. He'd be crushed."

I hear her unguarded laugh filling the space around us as she buries her head against my shoulder. It's the most glorious sound I have heard all day.

She seems a bit more relaxed, and a little less furious with me. But maybe I'm just indulging in a bit of wishful thinking.

"I missed the Viper this morning," she blurts out, leaning her head against my shoulder. "It was lonely going into work by myself."

I can't help but smirk at her statement. "It missed you, too."

As the song begins to wind down, she pulls her head back to look at me. "This doesn't change everything, you know. Things still have to change between us. But maybe I don't have to be so extreme about it," she concedes.

As the last notes of the song echo through the building, she pulls completely out of my arms. And with a lingering look back towards me, she begins to walk towards Jacob.

As she talks to him and they begin to head out of the club, she gives me a small wave. As I watch Jacob usher her out, the final line of the song replays in my mind.

_If you ain't here, I just can't breathe_

I can't help but think how true it is. And how much of a problem that's inevitably going to be.

* * *

Song featured in this chapter include: Duffy's "Hanging on Too Long," Rihanna's "Don' Stop the Music" and Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown's "No Air." None of which I own, in case you were wondering. Hehe.


	6. Chapter Five: Moving Forward

Hi! Finally I have an update for you. Thanks for your patience! I apologize that it's taken this long - hopefully it's worth the wait. :)

A special thanks to InstantStarFan, carenicoleIQ, and gwynwhyver (my fabulous beta) for all looking over this chapter for me. You guys rock!

Anyway, enjoy, and please let me know what you think!!

* * *

**Chapter Five: Moving Forward**

Is it possible to simultaneously love and hate someone at the same time? Because I think I do.

Okay, so I don't _hate_ Tommy. Honestly, I wish I could. My life would be a million times simpler if I could hate him. Or at least if I could stay mad at him.

But I can't.

It's pathetic and I know it. Which is _exactly_ why things have to change.

While this decision might seem sudden, I've actually been thinking about it for a while. I've waited a long time for Tommy to wise up, to see what was right in front of him, ready for the taking. For four years, since the night of my sixteenth birthday when he kissed me and I felt the world actually shift underneath my feet, I've dreamt that he'd wake up one morning and realize that I'm the one for him.

But it hasn't happened. And I've wasted four years of my life waiting for it to.

No more. I'm 20; I'm still young and now is the time to survey my options. Especially if Tommy is never going to be an option.

I need to figure out what else life has to offer me. Starting with… Tommy's brother?

I know, I know. Bad idea, right? Most people might think I'm using Jacob as a convenient way to try to make his brother jealous. I can't deny that there are most likely advantages to that. But I don't want to play games; I don't want to force Tommy into feeling something he doesn't. He told me, point-blank, that he doesn't mind if I see his brother. And I'm going to take him at his word, even if his actions aren't quite mirroring the same assertions.

I turn my head to peer at Jacob, who's driving me back to my apartment. Who knew Tommy's brother could be so completely different from him? Jacob's oblivious to my watching him, so I use the moment to take a mental inventory.

He's nice. He's funny, and not in the sardonic way like Tommy, but in a more obvious way. He's cute and attractive. Not in the drop dead gorgeous way that Tommy is, but a more wholesome, good boy, way.

_Stop comparing them_, I remind myself. I need to judge Jacob on his own merits, not size him up against his brother. The problem, of course, is that Tommy _is_ the standard for me. All the boyfriends I've had in five years I've ended up comparing to Tommy. Shay was arrogant, sort of like Tommy, but in a far less attractive way. But I think it was that same cockiness that attracted me to him. Speid is a musical genius, especially on the guitar. I think it was that musical connection that bonded us, but all I ever did was compare his musical talents against Tommy's. Which wasn't fair. Jamie… well, Jamie never should have gone past being my friend. I think 

with Jamie I wanted someone I could talk to, confide in. But we were missing the sparks that I feel every time I'm with Tommy.

Ugh. I'm obsessed. It's ridiculous. And _that_ is why I need to make a change.

So no more thinking of Tommy. No more comparing other men to Tommy. No more Tommy time. Okay, not as _much_ Tommy time.

Of course, as I'm thinking all of this, I know I'm already breaking my own rules. Because I am thinking of Tommy, when I should be focusing on Jacob, the perfectly nice guy sitting in the car next to me.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asks, politely. "You seem a million miles away."

"I'm fine," I say, smiling reassuringly. I know it's weird to try to move on with someone so connected to Tommy, but I like Jacob. I felt it instantly when we met, that we would get along. There's a feeling of simplicity and openness when I'm with him, something I've been missing and craving for my life.

"Are you sure?" he asks, concern etched on his face. His emotions are right there, on the surface. And this is why I instantly liked Jacob. There's this warm, gentle soul in him, an openness that is a rare thing to find in most people. After dealing with Quincy's many evasions and secretive nature for so long, it's refreshing.

"I'm sure. It's just been a long, draining, day. But I'm okay."

It's not too long before he pulls up in front of my apartment building. "Thanks for today; I really needed the fun, the relaxation," I say, opening the door and beginning to climb out when I hear his voice.

"Jude, can I ask you something?"

I turn back towards him at his question. "Sure."

"Why do you let him get to you the way you do?" he asks, genuinely puzzled.

I ponder his question for a moment. Instead of pretending I don't know what he's talking about, I answer honestly. "You know what, I wish I knew. Because then, maybe I could make it stop."

* * *

I collapse in the door of my apartment, exhausted. It's been a very long day, and I'm more than ready to just crawl into bed. But as I drop my purse and keys on the coffee table in the living room, my attention is caught by a picture on the mantle.

I walk slowly towards the picture, picking up the heavy metal frame it's in. It's a picture from my last birthday, a candid shot of Tommy and I dancing. Tommy has had a habit of either ruining my birthdays or making them more glorious than I could imagine. My sixteenth birthday, he'd done a bit of both. The kiss, well, it still holds the place as the best kiss of my life. I've had boyfriends since, but none of their kisses even remotely compared. But then, he'd also crushed me that night with his assertion that the kiss had never happened. Our relationship had been quite rocky after that, but somehow we found our way back to being friends.

But then, on my seventeenth birthday, he hadn't even bothered to show up to my party. To say that had ruined the night would be an understatement. Everyone had noticed my depression and had tried to cheer me up. Even Speid, my boyfriend at the time, had known the exact reason for my sadness. "I'm sure he had something important come up," Speid had said, trying to soothe me.

Important? It turns out he'd had a _date_.

He and Sadie had literally just broken up, so this was thoughtless for more than one reason. (Oh, had I forgotten to mention Tommy dated my sister for a few months before my birthday? We kiss and he ends up dating my sister. What a prince, right?) The day after he missed my party, I had been deliberately cold to him and avoided being alone with him all day. He had kept looking at me, shooting me that stupid puppy dog face that he knows damned well gets me almost every time, and asking to talk to me alone. Ignoring his requests, I kept all discussion limited to work. Finally, when the day was over, I'd walked out of the studio without a word.

I'd forgotten my iPod in Studio C when I'd been writing in there earlier in the day. I'd strolled into the Studio and walked over to what passed as the soundboard, almost immediately locating my forgotten iPod, when I'd heard the door slam. And lock. I'd spun around, seeing Tommy standing in front of me. Without saying anything, he'd handed me a small box. Despite my anger, I took it, opening it to reveal a beautiful white gold star pendant, with diamonds outlining the outside of it.

"I'm sorry I didn't make it last night. I didn't think… you know with Sadie… but I'm sorry."

His words had been so sincere, the gift so perfect, I had forgiven him almost instantly. I had made him suffer a few more days before telling him that, though.

Every birthday after that, he'd been there. He hadn't done anything big, but he'd been there, and that had been enough for me.

My last birthday, my twentieth, Darius had forced me to have a birthday bash, despite my assertion that I just wanted to have a relaxing night at home. Despite my reluctance, it had turned out to be a fun evening, especially because of Tommy. That night, for the first time, it had really felt like we were much more than friends. He'd appointed himself my escort for the night, never leaving my side. I even caught him glaring at the other men I danced with. The moment captured in the picture in my hands was one of those rare moments when Tommy had let me in, closer than ever before. He was holding me tightly, and we were laughing at a stupid joke he had just told when the picture had been snapped. The joy on both of our faces, the closeness of our bodies, any outside observer would just assume that we were far more than just friends.

It wasn't just outside observers that would have been fooled by his behavior that night; I felt for sure that it meant something. I'd hoped my birthday present would be a promise of a real date, or at least an admission that he wanted more out of our relationship. But it wasn't meant to be. The next day he was back to keeping me at arm's length. In fact, now that I think about it, he'd been even more distant than usual that day. I always assumed he'd felt bad about the possibility that he'd led me on. But when I look at the picture, at the way he's looking at me in it, I can't help but wonder how he could look at me like that when he felt nothing at all.

After the resolution I made tonight, looking at the picture is even harder. It's a reminder of everything I want. And of everything Tommy doesn't want.

As I feel the tears threatening, I chastise myself for my weakness. I have to snap out of it. I'm not the first girl to ever experience unrequited love. I'll live, of course, I will. But in order to survive, I have to figure out how to balance moving on with keeping my friendship with Tommy. Because, even if I'd like to think I'm that strong, I don't think I could ever kick him out of my life permanently.

I slam the picture down in frustration. I really wish Tommy didn't make things so damn difficult for me. He is the king of mixed signals. I don't know if it's just the flirt in him that makes him act the way he does towards me; although, that kind of thinking just makes me feel like a fool. Sometimes when he looks at me, I feel like I'm the only person that matters. And then, other times, it's like he's looking through me, like he can't bear to look at me. It's confusing and it hurts. More than that, it's exactly what I don't need. It's the reason I have to let go of whatever I feel for him. I allow myself to get my hopes up and I just get hurt every time. I need to accept that Tommy will never be any more than my friend and my producer, and find a way to move on. I can't keep living like I am, hoping that he'll come around. The hardest thing to deal with is that he doesn't feel the way I do. Whenever he walks in the room, it's like everyone else fades away. If his skin happens to brush mine, even accidentally, my heartbeat accelerates so rapidly I wonder if it's going to remain in my chest. To think that he doesn't feel that too, it's just…upsetting doesn't even begin to describe it.

I glance at the picture once more before walking away, towards my bedroom. Changing quickly, I settle under the covers, willing sleep to overcome me. It's been such a confusing, emotional day and I just want to drift off to sleep, in order to find some measure of peace there.

* * *

The alarm buzzes loudly in my ear for a long time before I open my eyes. I don't want to get up. I don't want to face Tommy, or think about how I'm going to interact with him now, with the resolution and decisions I've made.

I pull the covers over my head, and decide impulsively not to deal with any of it today. I'm going to do something I've never done.

I'm going to play hooky.

A smile spreads across my face. A day off, away from Tommy, away from responsibility, that's just what I need.

I reach over, grabbing the cordless phone off the night table, and dial G-Major's number automatically. Sadie answers after only one ring. "G-Major Records?"

"Hey Sades, it's Jude."

"Hey, what's up?"

"I'm calling in sick today."

"Why? What's wrong?"

Her voice is full of concern, and I immediately chime in, to alleviate her fear. "Nothing, I'm totally fine. I'm just taking a day off. I think I'm in dire need of one of those. Just tell D, and anyone who asks, that I'm feeling a bit under the weather."

"Okay, sis. Are you sure you're okay? Kwest mentioned you were out with Jacob last night…" Her voice sounded equal parts curious and worried.

Her sisterly instincts were no doubt working over time. Especially if Kwest had filled her in on what went on last night.

"I'm sure," I say, dismissing the topic without any further discussion of it. "Hey, can you do me another favor?" I ask, panic suddenly rushing through me. Tommy's likely going to be here in half an hour to pick me up.

"Can you call Tommy's cell and tell him I'm not coming in today, so he doesn't need to pick me up?"

"Jude, don't you think you can handle doing that yourself?"

"Honestly, no. Not today. I'm hiding out from everyone today. If I call, he'll question me to no end about it. Please?? Pretty please?" I plead.

I hear her sigh loudly on the other end. "Okay, but you owe me an explanation for this, Jude."

"Fine, later, I promise. Thanks, Sades. You're a lifesaver."

When I hang up the phone, a feeling of freedom at having escaped Sadie's curiosity and having the whole day ahead of me to do whatever I want washes over me.

I yawn and throw the covers back over my head, deciding that the first thing I'm going to do is take advantage of the rare chance to sleep in.

* * *

Waking up a few hours later, I debate whether to call Jamie or Speid to join me in playing hooky. Jamie and I have finally gotten back to being friends after dating for six months when I was eighteen. I know he'd probably jump at the chance to spend the day together. Speid too would no doubt be up for playing hooky from G-Major.

But I decide that maybe a day to myself is exactly what I need.

Deciding on a chick flick movie marathon, I dress quickly, pulling on a comfortable pair of jeans and a vintage t-shirt. I also don a Toronto Maple Leafs ball cap, hoping I can run to the video store while keeping myself out of the tabloids. It always surprises me how the papers can make a scandalous story out of a simple trip to the store. It is much worse when I'm with Tommy, because then there are romance rumors flying around. Which actually hurts me more because they're _not_ true.

Luckily I make the trip to the store without incident. A few people glance at me, looking at me like I seem familiar to them. But I'm able to pick up a few movies without anyone recognizing me. Well, except for the clerk, who saw the name on my Blockbuster membership card. But, thankfully, although I saw a look of recognition in her eyes, she didn't say anything or make a fuss.

I rush back to the apartment, tossing the ball cap aside as soon as I breeze through the door. I pop in the first DVD, "Pretty Woman," and collapse on the couch to watch someone else get their happily ever after.

Halfway through the movie, I jump in shock when I hear a loud knock echo through my apartment. I sit perfectly still and continue watching the movie, pretending that I don't hear the noise. But as the banging becomes more incessant, I pause the movie and approach the door slowly.

Looking through the peep-hole, I see Tommy's face looking back at me. He looks frustrated, and I can feel the vibrations of the door as he continues knocking.

_What the hell is he doing here?_

I stand frozen, and I can almost feel him on the other side of the door that separates us.

I have two choices. Choice # 1, I can stay silent and hopes he goes away. Choice #2, I can answer the door and face whatever reason brought him here in the first place.

"Jude, I can see your feet making a shadow at the bottom of the door," he called through the door.

_Great_. Well, there goes choice #1.

I swing the door open swiftly, and he narrowly misses hitting me in the face as his hand continues to descend to where the door used to stand between us.

He pulls his hand back quickly. "Sorry," he says sheepishly.

"Except for nearly assaulting me," I tease, a smile playing on my lips, "is there a reason you're banging incessantly on my door."

"I was worried," he says, his voice serious. "Sadie said you were feeling under the weather. Although, I suspect that there's a little more to it than that. I thought we'd sorted things out yesterday," he accuses, a frustrated edge to his voice.

His tone starts my blood boiling. "Geez, ego much? You know, regardless of what you think, the world doesn't completely revolve around you." I snap bitterly. But, of course, that's a lie. _My_ world does revolve around him.

Hurt flashes in his eyes, and he turns, beginning to leave. My stomach sinks, and I can't bear the thought of him leaving with things left like that between us. I place a restraining hand gently on his arm, feeling my hand begin to tingle from his warmth. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. I just… needed a day off."

He turns back, an amused smirk on his face. "You? The girl who will stay up all night and all day in order to finish a song needed a day off?" he asked skeptically. He can see through me and he knows it.

"I was tired," I say defensively, "probably from that kind of behavior."

He nods in acceptance, though I can tell he's not buying my excuse. "So, what are you up to?" he asks, changing the subject as he glides past me into my living room.

"Just watching some movies."

"What are you watching?" he asks, picking up the four chick flicks I picked up at the video store.

"I'm almost finished watching "Pretty Woman." And if you wouldn't mind I'd like to get back to it."

Expecting him to leave, I begin to walk back towards the door. Instead, I hear a quiet _thump_. I spin around, my eyes widening in surprise as I see Tommy spreading himself out on the couch, leaving only a small space for me. Right beside him.

"What are you doing?"

His eyes are shining mischievously. "Well, you said you wanted you to get back to watching "Pretty Woman." And lucky for you, I love this movie." He motions to space on the couch beside him.

I sigh loudly. So much for a day off, by myself. "Oh, lucky me," I say sarcastically as I sit down in the space he's allotted for me. As soon as I'm settled, he swings his arms around me, pulling me closer against him. It's warm and comfortable and I can't resist nestling against him. But, as I begin the movie again, I wonder to myself whether this is appropriate behavior for friends, even best friends.

* * *

"You cried! Quincy, I saw tears, I know it!" I joke, as I shut off the movie. He'd been fighting me on this fact for the past five minutes.

We'd watched all four movies I had rented, the last one being "Love Story." I'd gone to the video store, intending to pick up movies to make me happy. I'd never seen "Love Story" before but I thought, with a title like that, it was a pretty safe bet. Apparently I was wrong. It had to be one of the saddest movies I've ever seen.

"I did not!" He argues, although I can still see other tears, unshed, hiding behind his eyes. "Besides, I'm pretty sure you cried for most of the movie." We're sitting in much the same position as we began, his arm swung casually around me, my head leaning on his shoulder. Except I've turned to look at him as I playfully argue with him.

"Yes, I did," I say proudly. "And I'm woman enough to admit it. You know, it's not a bad thing to cry, Quincy," I tease.

"Fine," he concedes, "I cried," he admits, his voice low. "But, in my defense, you did pick the saddest movie ever made. I know I feel really cheerful now, girl," he said sarcastically, although a corner of his mouth was turning up in a smirk. "Geez, Jude. Why would you rent that?" He seems more amused by the choice now, knowing better than anyone that this movie would not be a typical choice for me.

Although I'm enjoying the closeness, I wonder what's going on with him. He's usually pretty 'hands off'. I'm more than a little confused, and in the back of my mind, I'm wondering regretfully what kind of price I'll have to pay for tonight. More fallen hopes, hopes I can't control. I also wonder how he'll behave after tonight. Will he be distant, realigning the boundaries of our friendship? Whatever will happen, I push the thought out of my mind. But, I also realize it's time to push myself out of his arms. For my own good.

"Honestly, I've never seen it before," I say, extricating myself from his arms to begin cleaning up the remnants of our take out dinner. "But I liked it. It was real; it was sad and heartbreaking, but at least there was a sense of truth about it."

He eyes me thoughtfully as he stands up to help me clean. "It wasn't a fairytale, that's for sure."

"That's what I liked about it. Life isn't a fairytale either. Movies like that are good for keeping us grounded in the real world. The fairytales can make us think things are possible when they're not." He watches me curiously, and I realize I'm rambling, and probably making no sense to him. "Anyway," I begin as I carry the empty food cartons to the kitchen, "sad as it was, I enjoyed it."

He follows me, carrying the empty cans of coke we've ingested. "Well, it was a little too real if you ask me." I lean my back against the kitchen counter, watching him. His eyes are soft, and for a moment, I catch a glimpse of a vulnerable look, a pained look of understanding about the movie we've just watched. It made me wonder what he'd been through that made him empathize so clearly with the heartbreaking movie we'd just watched.

Before I can say anything, he glances up at me, the vulnerable look gone, replaced by a smile. But, unlike his usual smiles, this one doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"I think, Harrison, that after tonight you owe me," he says, no doubt in a ploy to distract from whatever personal moment of his I've just witnessed.

His face is closed off, and whatever it is, I can see that the conversation is closed for now. Letting it go, for now, I ask, incredulous, "What? Why?"

"I just sat through **four** girl movies for you." He moves to stand closely in front of me. Normally I'd move back, away, but as I'm leaning against the counter, I'm cornered.

"I didn't force you to watch them." I object, trying to keep my voice level, and my breathing even. I don't know what's gotten into him, but it's not helping my resolve to forget that I love him. "Besides, you loved every minute," I tease, saying anything to distract myself from the heat radiating from his body only inches from mine. He can't know what he's doing to me. I remind myself that, since he doesn't feel the way I do, he can't understand the torture he's inflicting upon me. Although, his satisfied smirk really makes me wonder about that.

"Regardless," he says, leaning in close to my ear. "You owe me, Harrison."

He pulls back suddenly, his eyes conflicted, as if he'd crossed a line he never meant to cross. I feel the breath rush out of my lungs as he moves away from me. "Next time, it's action movies. Lots of explosions and fighting. That will cancel out all the girly influence from tonight," he quips, and it seems like he's trying to maintain the lightness of the atmosphere.

_Next time_. Since when was there going to be a next time? Not that I'd ever be able to say no to it. "Whatever you say, Quincy," I say coolly.

He glances at his watch, his eyes widening slightly in response. "I better get going. We both have an early morning tomorrow. Darius booked us an 8 am studio slot."

"Wonderful," I say, sarcastically as I walk him towards the front door. I open it, keeping my hand on the door knob.

"So, did you enjoy your day off?" he asks, pausing halfway through the doorway.

"The movies were great," I say, watching his face, seeing his smile falter almost imperceptibly. I can't help but smile as I add, "And your company wasn't so bad either."

His face brightens, and he reaches down, placing his hand on mine on the door knob. He squeezes it lightly before lifting his hand again. "I'll be here at 7:30 to pick you up, okay?"

"Sounds good."

"Night, Harrison," he says, shooting me a smirk before heading off towards the elevators.

"Night, Quincy," I say, watching him as he walks down the hall. Before disappearing into the elevator, he turns back and bends his hand in a small wave.

I shut the door and lock it before heading back towards the living room. As I collapse on to the couch, the sadness begins to settle in my chest, the way it always does after I've had a close encounter with Tommy. There is also adrenaline there, still pumping through my body from his closeness in the kitchen. But it is slowly being replaced by confusion and sadness.

My thoughts wander back over to Tommy's behavior today. He'd been so relaxed, and I had had a really great time in his company. There had been some innocent flirting, as there always was with Quincy. The pinnacle of which had been the moment he'd had me cornered in in the kitchen. He'd never gone that far, and I wonder why he had tonight.

It felt great. More than great. There actually isn't a word for how amazing it felt, his body so close to mine.

But, ultimately, thinking back, the day had somehow been both wrong _and_ right. I know that makes no sense, does it?

The whole day, regardless of how wonderful and fun it had been, there was something about it that just made me feel even more hopeless now. To let myself be that close to him, feeling things I shouldn't feel, things he didn't feel, was very foolish and very wrong.

But at the same time, it was also wrong because it had felt so completely _right_. It had been like I was spending the day with my boyfriend. But he wasn't, and he never would be.

I close my eyes and exhale deeply. "I'm moving on, I'm moving on," I chant to myself. Thinking the way I was wasn't helping anything. I needed to move forward. Tonight was about being friends, I think, trying to convince myself. Tommy and I are friends. Best friends. No more. I need to be serious about moving forward with the romantic part of my life. If those sappy, 

romantic movies did nothing else, they instilled some kind of silly hope that I would love again. Even if it couldn't be with Tommy.

In the spirit of moving on, I do the only thing I can think of doing. I pick up my cell phone, quickly dialing a number before I lost my nerve.

I hear his quick response at the other end of the line.

Breathing deeply, I take my first step forward. "Hi Jacob…"


End file.
